


take me home, where you are

by tomkitty



Series: Miscellanea; File LitComp (Works In Progress) [3]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don't copy to another site, F/F, M/M, Trans Ben Hanscom, everyone is queer. everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23557342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomkitty/pseuds/tomkitty
Summary: the one where Beverly saved herself first, which in turn saved everyone else.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Miscellanea; File LitComp (Works In Progress) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658149
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just one of many wip's I have. I don't have a set updating schedule so I'm not sure when I'll be updating this story next. Please read at your own risk.

Beverly was already awake when her phone rang in the middle of the night. She hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. She kept having these recurring nightmares. Visions of a man with curly brown hair, doing a puzzle, reading a book that she couldn’t see the title of, birdwatching, taking a bath… dying. It was always the same. No matter what task she saw him doing it always ended with him climbing into the bath, the razor, the blood. So much blood. Sometimes she woke with a scream, other times a gasp. But no matter how she awoke she would always be in tears. The image of that man, bleeding out, it broke her heart in a million ways. She didn’t recognize him but she felt like she should. She could never go back to sleep after those dreams.

Tonight was no different. Just as she was about to leave her room the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Is this Beverly Marsh?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“Bev, it’s Mike. Mike Hanlon. From Derry.”

Beverly felt her heart stop. It was the same feeling she felt when she awoke from her nightmares. The build up of fear and then the profound sense of loss. But there was something else. Something in her mind was slotting back into place. Memories. Six boys on their bikes, the quarry, an underground clubhouse, sharing cigarettes, shower caps. 

“Mike. Mike! Yes of course!” A smile overtook her face as she remembered the boy from her childhood. The one who was an outsider, a loser like her, that joined their rag tag group of friends. Mike with his capable hands, strong arms that gave the best hugs, and his warm smile. “Hi! It’s been so long! How are you?”

“I could be better to be honest, but it’s great to hear your voice.”

“It’s great to hear from you! I, I’ve missed you.” And she has. Now that the memories are slowly coming back she can feel just how much she’s missed him. Missed them.

“I’ve missed you too, Bev. But, I have something important to ask you.” He sounded nervous. “There’s something I need help with, something only we can deal with. I need you to come back to Derry.”

“You mean right now?”

“Yes. Within the next few days at least.”

Beverly sighed. She wanted to see Mike, now that she was remembering there was nothing else she wanted in the world than to see her old friends. Her family. But, she glanced towards her door, she couldn’t just drop everything and leave. “Mike I can’t I, I have responsibilities here.”

“You promised. You made an oath remember? All of us did. That scar on your hand? That’s from the blood oath we made when we were kids.”

Beverly looked down at her hand and saw that scar across her palm. It ached suddenly, the memory of when they made the oath at the forefront of her mind. She remembers making it, remembers standing in a circle with her six best friends, blood bleeding from their palms as they clasped hands, but she can’t remember why. 

“Have you called anyone else?” she asked, suddenly curious about how the rest of the losers reacted.

“So far just Bill, Richie, and you. They both said they would come. I haven’t called Eddie, Ben, or Stan yet.”

As Mike said each name an image of each boy flashed in her mind. Bill, the leader of their group with his red hair and sweet smile that she’d follow to the ends of the earth. Richie, or trashmouth as they called him, with his glasses, unruly hair, and horrible fashion sense that she’d share cigarettes with. Eddie, who was small but still such a spitfire, all feral energy and intense anger that made him able to hold his ground against anything. Ben, who always had a kind smile or supportive word for all of them, who made her feel safe and valued, who she confided in and trusted with everything.

And then there was Stan. The sweetest and arguably most innocent of them all. Sarcastic as he was, Bev had a soft spot in her heart especially for Stan. She knew it took a lot for him to stand up for himself so she always kept a special eye out for him. They all did. Protecting Stan was just something they all felt they needed to do. A flash of a boy with brown curls handing her a shower cap. The way the two of them shared knowing looks as they watched Richie and Eddie bicker over the hammock. The deadpan way he’d say things to rile up Bill or Mike. His hobby of birdwatching. Birdwatching. The puzzle. The bathtub. The blood.

“Oh my god, Stan.” The man from her dreams. She knew. She just knew it had to be him. His hair, his eyes, he was different, grown up, but still the same. The same Stanley that she recalls loving so much, the same as she loved all the losers. She was overcome with a sense of fear and worry. “Mike, Mike it’s Stan.”

“What’s Stan? Bev what’s wrong!”

“It’s Stan! He-!” Bev gasped as tears fell down her face. “Don’t. Mike, I am begging, please, whatever you do, don’t call Stan. If you do something really, really horrible is going to happen.”

“Beverly how-”

“I saw it. I’ve been having these dreams, I saw him die, Mike! I can’t, we can’t lose him.” Beverly was sobbing now. “I refuse to lose him when I only just got him back.”

“Okay. Okay I won’t call him. But Beverly, he needs to come back to Derry. You all do. All of us need to be together.”

Beverly nodded even though Mike couldn’t see it. She understood it, she did. She was terrified but she felt the need, the pull to go back to Derry, and she knew that whatever the pull was, it needed all of them there. “I’ll get him. I’m assuming you’ve been keeping tabs on all of us?”

At his affirmative she nodded. “Okay, give me his number and his address. Wherever he is I’ll pick him up and bring him to Derry myself. I’ll make sure nothing happens to him.”

They traded information and in a few minutes the plan was set. She would be picking up Stan from his home in Atlanta, Georgia and then from there they’d travel to Derry, Maine where they’d meet up with everyone else. Factoring in travel time it would take at least three days. 

“I’ll keep you updated as things happen okay?”

“Okay, Bev,” Mike said. “Hey uh, I love you y’know. I wish we were meeting up under better circumstances but.”

“It’s okay, I get it. I love you too Mike. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Beverly sighed as she hung up the phone. She was feeling emotionally drained from that phone call but she needed to get moving. She quickly changed clothes, packed a bag, and exited her room. She entered the room across from hers and pressed her lips together.

She couldn’t do this. Why did she agree to do this? Because if you don’t go you’ll die anyway, her mind supplied. You all will. She knew this but she didn’t like it. She thought about calling someone for help but who could she trust with this? When she was with Tom he never let her get close to anyone, cutting her off from everyone who she had even remotely been friendly with, and even now after the divorce she had no support system. Just her. 

She walked into the room and sat down next to the small form sleeping in the crib. Nowadays her daughter slept soundly, much more than she did, through the night. Whenever Bev woke up from a nightmare she always came into her daughter’s room and just watched her sleep. Keeping watch helped settle her nerves, knowing that the most precious thing in her life was safe. 

Bev didn’t want to wake her daughter just yet, it was still the middle of the night after all, so after she booked the earliest flight to Atlanta she began preparing herself for her visit to Stan. She promised she’d keep him safe, even if she had to keep him safe from himself.


	2. Chapter 2

When Beverly steps out of the taxi she is greeted by a rather nice looking suburb house. Two stories, a nice sized yard, yew hedges, it was lovely. With her bag slung over her shoulder and her daughter sleeping in her carrier she approached the front door and knocked.

A woman opens the door. She had a kind face and understanding eyes. “Hello, how may I help you?”

“Hi, I’m sorry to show up unannounced, my name is Beverly Marsh. I was wondering, does Stanley Uris live here?”

“Yes he’s, oh and here he is! Perfect timing, as always,” the woman said with a smile as she looked up at Stan.

“Hey there Stan the man,” Bev said as she took in the sight that was Stan. “I don’t know if you remember but I’m Beverly Marsh? We grew up together in Derry?”

Beverly watched as confusion, recognition, and then finally joy settled on Stan’s face. “Bev!” He wraps Beverly up in a hug that seems to get tighter as time went on. Beverly feels Stan begin to shake a little so she begins to rock them back and forth as she rubbed his back. 

“Hey Stan, I missed you. I’m sorry to show up like this but, I needed help and I just thought,” Beverly trailed off, not wanting to break the bad news with Stan’s wife right there.

“No, no, of course it’s fine. It’s fine.” Stan pulls back and looks Beverly over. “Are you okay? Are you in trouble?”

“Not me exactly, it’s Mike.”

Stan looks confused for only a moment before his eyes widen in panic. “Is he okay?!”

“You might want to be sitting down for this actually,” Beverly says.

“Oh! Right! Sorry, come on in. Bev this is my wife, Patricia. Patty, this is Beverly, one of my best friends from my hometown.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Beverly,” Patricia says as she hugs Beverly in greeting.

“Likewise,” Bev says as she returns the hug. She pulls away with a smile. “Since introductions are being made, Stan, Patricia, I’d like you to meet my daughter, Ivy Marsh.”

They both look down and notice the baby carrier sitting next to Beverly’s feet. 

“Oh what a precious thing!” Patricia coos immediately. “Quickly bring her inside! Stan, get them settled in the living room. Dinner is just about finished so I’ll prepare the table and you can join us.”

As Patricia bustled away, Stan led Beverly into the living room. “Okay, what’s going on? What happened to Mike? Where is he?” All kinds of horrible scenarios were going through Stan’s mind. He knew things were a bit better nowadays but racism was still pretty rampant, what if Mike was hurt?

Beverly took Stan’s hands in her own. “Stan calm down, Mike’s still in Derry and-”

Stan’s eyes widened immediately. “Still in Derry? Is he nuts? Of all places where people are still horribly racist Derry is probably one of the worst! Why would Mike still be there! I thought! I mean, at least I think I did, I hoped. Why didn’t he get out? Why didn’t he leave?”

“Well you know when we were all going away for college he decided to stay behind with his grandfather, help look after him and the sheep.”

“Yes but that was years ago. Surely he must have passed by now? Horrible as that is to say, but it’s true. The man was bedridden by the time we left. He couldn’t have made it more than a few more years. Why didn’t Mike leave then?”

Beverly had been talking with Mike about everything, planning what to say. She needed to tell Stan the truth but she didn’t want to freak him out. She glanced around the room and noticed a fair amount of novels by William Denbrough sitting on a shelf. Perfect.

“There’s something wrong with Derry. Mike was explaining it to me, when you leave there it’s like, the farther away you get and the longer you’re away, the more you forget. Be honest with me. Did you recognize me when you first saw me?”

Stan looked nervous. “No I didn’t, but I haven’t seen you in years, of course it would take a bit to jog my memory, and I knew as soon as I heard your name!”

Beverly hummed, not convinced. “What about Bill?”

Stan looked confused. 

“Denbrough. Big Bill.”

“Bill. What happened to him?” 

“You mean you don’t know?” When Stan just looked confused Bev gestured to the bookshelves. “You own almost all of his books by the looks of it, so I thought you knew. Knowing his name and all.”

Stan looked put out. “Okay, I see your point. So we’ve forgotten our childhood, each other?”

“Yes, Mike was going to be the last to leave but after just a few months he said that no one remembered him. Every time he called one of us to check in it was like he had to jog our memory just to get us to remember him. This was just after a few months Stan. We shouldn’t have forgotten him so quickly, but we did. Mike thinks he might have a solution so he wants us all to go back to Derry. Everyone else already agreed, Bill, Richie, Eddie, and Ben. They’re all on their way.”

Bev watched as recognition flitted across his face as she said each name. “He wants us to go back? To Derry?”

“Yeah. It’s good right? All us losers back together? It’s been so long. I’ve missed everyone so much, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. You feel it too right?”

Stan nodded. “Yeah, I do. I,” he looked scared, but as he looked into Bev’s eyes he swallowed his fear and put on a brave face. “I want to see everyone.”

“Good. Mike needs us as soon as possible, so do you think you can leave tonight? After dinner maybe?”

“That’s so soon!”

“I know, but Mike says there's only a short window for this to work and then, then we won’t forget each other ever again. No matter how far apart we may be. I want that Stan. Don’t you want that?”

“I do, but-” Stan still looked reluctant.

“You should go.”

Stan and Beverly both jumped and looked towards the source of the voice. Patrica was standing in the doorway. “Before you ask, yes I was definitely listening. But Stan, Beverly is right. This is your childhood, your memories, and I know you want them. I see you sometimes. You get lost in thought and you’ll say something only to forget it moments later. I’ve seen it happen every time you read one of William Denbrough’s books or when we’d see that comedian on TV, Richie Tozier. Beverly Marsh the fashion designer is sitting on our couch and I’ve always wondered why you’d sometimes get that faraway look in your eye whenever we’d pass an ad with her line on it and now I know why. That was you remembering, remembering only to forget. You deserve to have your memories back.”

“Okay, you’re right. I’ll go.” Stan paused. “Are you going to be okay here by yourself?”

Patricia rolled her eyes. “I’m a strong woman Stan, I’ll be fine.”

“Well hey wait a minute,” Beverly said. “You don’t have to stay. I mean, I’m bringing Ivy so, there’s no reason why you couldn’t come as well right? If anything it would work as a favor to me because I'm sure whatever Mike has in mind I very well can’t bring her along anyhow and, well I have no one to watch her.”

“Oh, well I wouldn’t mind coming, and Ivy is absolutely adorable so I wouldn’t mind watching her but, I don’t know if we’ll have enough for two last minute tickets.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m covering the ticket cost.” At their shocked expressions Beverly laughed and cut in before they could protest. “I’m fashion designer Beverly Marsh remember? It’s not as though I don’t have the money. Plus, you can think of it as a thank you for babysitting for me.”

After dinner Beverly pulls Patricia to the side, keeping Stan in her line of sight as he took care of the dishes. “I need your help keeping an eye on Stan. There are some things that happened in Derry that left us with unpleasant memories. It’s why we all left. I don’t have an exact idea but I’m afraid that as the memories come back he’ll do something drastic. When we were kids, Stan was always the one who needed the most looking after. He was strong in his own right of course but-”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Patricia said, cutting Beverly off. “Stan is strong, he’s brave and always seems to know exactly what to do, but sometimes he has these moments of vulnerability where I’m afraid he might push himself too far and break.”

Beverly nodded her head. A memory of Stan crying with Mike comforting him was brought to the front of her mind. That was exactly it. Stan was strong, he was always trying to be strong for them, pushing himself to be brave, sometimes too much. Stan let himself be vulnerable with all of them, but he was most vulnerable with Bill and Mike. Without them around, she hoped Stan hadn’t been bottling his emotions up all this time.

“Stan’s been really good to me all these years that I’ve known him. The perfect husband really. He’s always been so understanding and patient with me. I love him, I don’t want anything bad happening to him. Of course I’ll help look out for him.”

“Thank you,” Beverly said as she pulled Patricia in for a hug. Beverly couldn’t help but note how nice Patricia smelled as she squeezed her tight. When she pulled away, she noticed the light dusting of a blush on Patricia’s cheeks. Beverly filed it away to ponder later. She had a feeling, but didn’t want to jump to conclusions just yet.


	3. Chapter 3

Thankfully the trip up to Maine went smoothly. Stan’s fear seemed to subside mostly because he was more worried about Mike having stayed in Derry all alone. All he could think was as soon as he got to Derry, after giving Mike a hug, he was going to berate the man for doing something so foolish.

With Stan being lost in his thoughts about Mike and then falling asleep on the plane, Beverly decided to have that conversation with Patricia. 

“I’m bisexual.” Like ripping off a bandaid.

“What?” Patricia said, looking at Beverly in shock.

“I’m bisexual. Men, women, I like both. I just thought I should tell you up front rather than having you find out later. I’m one of Stan’s best friends after all. We’ll probably be seeing a lot of each other after this, so this seemed like the best solution.”

“You mean ambushing me with this information while we’re confined in a plane?”

“Precisely. You get it,” Beverly flashed a mischievous grin and winked. “So what do you think?”

“M-me? What, I, why, I mean, I’m not against it or anything. If you are well, I mean, that’s fine? People are a lot more accepting these days, especially in certain areas. Though people can still be pretty cruel. Homophobia is still rampant, especially in small towns and-” Patricia swallowed as she twisted her hands together. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Bev reached out and took Patricia’s shaking hands in hers. “I’m sorry, that was mean of me. I shouldn’t have sprung it on you so quickly. I just wanted to get it out of the way you know?”

Patricia nodded. She was silent for a few minutes before she spoke again. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Say it so easily? Aren’t you scared?”

Beverly shrugged. “There are worse things to be scared of. Homophobia is a problem but I’m not going to let a bunch of small minded assholes define my life.” 

Patricia pressed her lips together and looked down at her lap.

“But, I also know and understand the importance of staying closeted if it’s for ones own wellbeing and safety. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to be out and if you can’t be it’s okay.”

“You really believe that?” Patricia whispered.

“I do. I also believe that sometimes, even if you can’t fully be out, it helps to tell someone, even if it’s just one person.”

Patricia nodded. “I think, well no. I know. I’m a lesbian. I’ve known for a long, long time. But my family, there were all these expectations, and it was hard enough being Jewish. I thought, maybe if I pushed those feelings down, married a nice Jewish man, lived in a nice house, and raised a family, everything would turn out okay. And so far it has. My life has been so good and Stan is so kind, he really has just been the perfect husband.”

“But you don’t love him?”

Patricia shook her head. “Not, I mean, I do. Of course, I do. I care about him so much, he’s one of the most important people in my life and I love him just, not romantically. I’ve tried. I really have, Stan deserves that much but, I just can’t.”

Patricia was crying now, soft hiccuping sobs that were thankfully going unnoticed by the airplane staff and the others seated in first class with them. 

“It’s okay.”

Beverly and Patricia both turned to look at Stan who was now awake and kneeling next to Patricia’s seat. 

“If you don’t love me romantically, it’s okay.”

“How can it be okay Stan? We’ve been married for, for years! All that time you wasted with me when you could have been with someone who truly loves you!”

“Hey, no. Don’t say that. It’s not a waste to me okay? It’s not. Being with you was the right thing for me. I know it in my heart. I never would have been with you if it wasn’t right. You and me? We love and care about each other. We’re bonded so much that we know each others souls. Just because that love isn’t romantic doesn’t mean it’s not important. Platonic love between friends is just as important as romantic love between lovers.”

“Platonic?” Patricia asked, hope blooming in her chest about what Stan was saying. He was right, as always. They did know each other. They were an important part of each others lives but the way they were together, it really was more platonic than romantic. 

“Yes. A lot of memories have come back to me over the past few hours and, well,” Stan shrugged, a playful smile on his face. “Honey, Patty dearest, I’m gay.”

Patricia’s jaw dropped open and she stared at Stan. Stan, who had been kind to her since she met him. Stan, who always knew what was the right thing to do. Stan, who was one of her best friends and such an important part of her life. Stan, who was smiling at her and letting her know that everything was going to be okay. She smiled back.


End file.
